Apparently I have a gift of rallying people under a vision. I can say this because not a year goes by that I do not start groups of people who will voluntarily work towards something futuristic and risky. This year, despite of a pandemic, is no exception.
I am writing this because I feel completely unworthy and just flabbergasted. I cannot understand why numerous people willingly follow me. I managed to start multiple things this year. These people just gave a big portion of their life, something that they cannot get back, just because of these ideas and visions that I share to them. And from the looks of it, they will continue to do it. And I can’t understand how this is even possible, how people follow me — how I am unworthy to lead, to be listened to, to be followed.
And then I start to look at Scripture. And I start to realize that maybe I’m giving too much credit on myself. Maybe I need to look beyond my ego. And when I start to look beyond myself, I see something completely other than my self. I am realizing the fact that I am following something bigger — Someone who is immeasurably greater than any other being or thing. Maybe what they are following is not about me. Maybe it’s not even about dreamy things like ideas or visions. Maybe it’s all about this Someone. Maybe these are the workings of Someone sovereign, who is working His will to us. Maybe it’s because this Someone loves us — for whatever mysterious reason He has — and that He chooses to give us opportunities to partner with Him. He chooses to give mercy and grace. And how I am able to rally and lead people, is just an evidence of this undeserved grace.
I confess that I would choose to live a comfortable life anytime over leading people. Leading is hard, intent-ful, and it just introduces a lot of pain which I could otherwise avoid. But, I also remember the words of someone who trained me:
“Follow me as I follow Christ.”
Only in this way — that my leadership can lead other people to the same Person I’m following, who’s name is Jesus by the way — I am encouraged to lead.