I feel this tension. It is inside and around me. It seems I am caught stuck in the middle between what is and what could be: Between how the world is and how the world could be.

Just like the poets have sung in their songs, I dream of “changing the world.”  But also like them, if I am to be deeply philosophically honest, I know I cannot truly change this world enough.

All these angst, impatience, sin, pain, love-sickness, longingness, restlessness.

Like a toddler that’s in a fit of tantrum to his father, I shake my fist at the Creator. “Why, God?” I feel the heavy burden of my humanity and the humanity of those around me. But just like a perfect kind Father towards His child, His response is Love. “I may be God, but I am also your Abba, my Pyl, and I know what’s best.”

How reassuring it should be to know that the Creator of this Universe — of time, of matter, of waves, of space  — calls me His child, and wants me to call Him Father! And how re-assuring it is to know that He, being The God who created every single thing that our minds can and cannot imagine, has set everything according to His grand design, from the beginning of time to the completion of it!

Knowing that everything should be going according to His sovereign plan, I will bear this tension within me knowing that I am not yet at home, in the process of trusting and pondering on His God-ness.

And I guess, just a shot at the moon, that this tension that I feel is what Augustine also felt, as he wrote the quite catchy line,

“Our heart is restless until it rests in You.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s